My experience in reading this was the cognitive equivalent of walking into a new situation, being overwhelmed by cacophony, and adjusting my hearing aids. The high-pitched screeching? That's absolute confirmation that unelected people whose names we don't know are running everything. That melancholic humming sound? That's a clear explanation of why I feel sick when I think about our "innocent until proven guilty" court system. That low, bass rumbling? That's the specter of aimless young men in large numbers. Ah, ok. The cacophony makes sense now. It's scary, but now comprehensible. Thank you for writing it.
When I read discussions of the college educated abstract workers vs. real world workers from you (or Rudyard who discussed it frequently) it reinforces to me how much your twenties really set a life pattern.
I'm colleges educated with arguably the most abstract degree possible, mathematics.
I work as a quant for a TBTF bank so am clearly in finance.
Yet my world view is very different from my colleagues and is much closer to your blue collar male world.
How is that?
I'm convinced it is until just short of my 29th birthday I wasn't a college educated mathematician computer programmer.
I was a snipe, a machinist's mate in the USN on a submarine. That's a very concrete world and it has never left me.
That context, that having lived in the world of the real has more value than anything else I got from the Navy.
A lot of men and especially women are about to get that context in a much nastier circumstance and less odds of escape.
That would do it. I was in academia from birth, but I had a very rough-and-tumble childhood and worked blue collar jobs to pay for my independent film producing habit. Permanently altered and informed my thinking.
Agreed. I think a lot of the "status through college degree" vs. "status through other means" (which I think is a better phrasing) would dissipate if the idea of a gap year because two years and wasn't a gap of NGO work or travelling but working in retail or as an apprentice in a trade where parents are a safety net not a steady check.
There would still be divides and I suspect a lot of the former group would still see credentials as status but they'd understand the advantages they have in a way they don't now. I'm not sure it would be full bore humility but might be a little looking over their shoulder in relief.
Where have you been all this time? We all instinctively know something is off. We are consistently told nothing is off. We are not crazy and it really is that bad. I don't know why, but you explained everything in such a brilliant way, I actually feel better knowing.
The dating antics of younger women going for players and older men are not new, going back at least to the 1980's and I suspect for much longer than that. The political divide may exasperate that, but also the shift to online social life dominating real life encounters does. Many of the 18+ year old male virgins I know refuse to leave their computer screens. It's a little difficult to get laid if you're not willing to meet people in person.
Given this continued dynamic, the success strategy for young women is to identify the players and avoid them. The success strategy for young men is to demonstrate they have the beginnings of the path to success demonstrated by the older men. Furthermore, both sides need to let connection trump politics. If you're too busy going "ditto" on political propaganda, you're going to dramatically reduce your available mate pool and mating, frankly, is a numbers game as much as anything.
Which feeds to my constant frustration. I see the rants of many of those who are having trouble finding mates (including a YouTuber you and I both often appreciate) and my response is "this is a solvable problem at the individual level." Yet so many would rather rant about the unfairness of life than make the effort and/or personal growth necessary to get what they want.
My experience in reading this was the cognitive equivalent of walking into a new situation, being overwhelmed by cacophony, and adjusting my hearing aids. The high-pitched screeching? That's absolute confirmation that unelected people whose names we don't know are running everything. That melancholic humming sound? That's a clear explanation of why I feel sick when I think about our "innocent until proven guilty" court system. That low, bass rumbling? That's the specter of aimless young men in large numbers. Ah, ok. The cacophony makes sense now. It's scary, but now comprehensible. Thank you for writing it.
You are most welcome.
When I read discussions of the college educated abstract workers vs. real world workers from you (or Rudyard who discussed it frequently) it reinforces to me how much your twenties really set a life pattern.
I'm colleges educated with arguably the most abstract degree possible, mathematics.
I work as a quant for a TBTF bank so am clearly in finance.
Yet my world view is very different from my colleagues and is much closer to your blue collar male world.
How is that?
I'm convinced it is until just short of my 29th birthday I wasn't a college educated mathematician computer programmer.
I was a snipe, a machinist's mate in the USN on a submarine. That's a very concrete world and it has never left me.
That context, that having lived in the world of the real has more value than anything else I got from the Navy.
A lot of men and especially women are about to get that context in a much nastier circumstance and less odds of escape.
That would do it. I was in academia from birth, but I had a very rough-and-tumble childhood and worked blue collar jobs to pay for my independent film producing habit. Permanently altered and informed my thinking.
Agreed. I think a lot of the "status through college degree" vs. "status through other means" (which I think is a better phrasing) would dissipate if the idea of a gap year because two years and wasn't a gap of NGO work or travelling but working in retail or as an apprentice in a trade where parents are a safety net not a steady check.
There would still be divides and I suspect a lot of the former group would still see credentials as status but they'd understand the advantages they have in a way they don't now. I'm not sure it would be full bore humility but might be a little looking over their shoulder in relief.
Where have you been all this time? We all instinctively know something is off. We are consistently told nothing is off. We are not crazy and it really is that bad. I don't know why, but you explained everything in such a brilliant way, I actually feel better knowing.
Welcome to the party:-)
Sorry for the downer analysis, but I am very relieved to hear it's helping people make sense of things.
The dating antics of younger women going for players and older men are not new, going back at least to the 1980's and I suspect for much longer than that. The political divide may exasperate that, but also the shift to online social life dominating real life encounters does. Many of the 18+ year old male virgins I know refuse to leave their computer screens. It's a little difficult to get laid if you're not willing to meet people in person.
Given this continued dynamic, the success strategy for young women is to identify the players and avoid them. The success strategy for young men is to demonstrate they have the beginnings of the path to success demonstrated by the older men. Furthermore, both sides need to let connection trump politics. If you're too busy going "ditto" on political propaganda, you're going to dramatically reduce your available mate pool and mating, frankly, is a numbers game as much as anything.
Which feeds to my constant frustration. I see the rants of many of those who are having trouble finding mates (including a YouTuber you and I both often appreciate) and my response is "this is a solvable problem at the individual level." Yet so many would rather rant about the unfairness of life than make the effort and/or personal growth necessary to get what they want.
I couldn't agree more, on all points.
It's on my list of subjects to cover on this blog, but I haven't written or scheduled it yet.